I Have One of Those Husbands

Originally published in the Cheboygan Daily Tribune...

So I have one of THOSE husbands. You know the kind. He does all of our laundry. He plans our meals and cooks dinner every night. He does the dishes without complaining. He reads with the kids and plays endless games of catch with our hyper son. He pays all our bills. He gets our groceries while I take the kids to swim lessons. He mows the lawn, and all the "common areas" in our subdivision. He vacuums and cleans bathrooms and reads teacher newsletters and fills out permission slips and checks homework. He buys me presents I didn’t even realize I wanted, exposes me to information I didn’t even realize I wanted to know, gets me to laugh when I feel like sobbing, and makes the best gluten free baked goods on the planet. Yeah, one of THOSE guys.

Now, some women are probably saying, “How did you do this? How did you get him to be like that?” All I can respond is that he came this way. He really has not changed much in the thirteen years I’ve known him. Like, he still takes the hand towel off the hanging rack, dries his hands, and leaves the towel on the counter. I don’t think he’s ever going to change that. Although, let’s be real, how big a deal is that?

You see, people don’t change a lot from when you first meet them, or, at least, not in any of the ways YOU try to change THEM. For example, I brought to this marriage forgetfulness, the ability to stretch a 200 word story into 1,000 words, and a bleeding heart that wants to take home every child whose home is not ideal. None of these have changed. In fact, they’ve probably gotten worse over time. But The Hubby has accepted these flaws, because with them I’ve brought my passionate love for our family, my laughter at his EVERY joke--no matter how bad, my work ethic, and my tenacity to be a ferocious advocate for our kids. These are things I believe he loves about me and, when I’m droning on and on, maybe he thinks about one of those qualities to get him through the moment.

I have been really sick this spring, like lie-in-my-bed-and-moan sick, and I’ve been absolutely useless. Generally, The Hubby and I work together as a team. My mother-in-law has often remarked about what a well-oiled machine our morning routine is. This spring, everything has fallen into The Hubby’s lap, and he’s had to do my jobs as well as his own, all the while worrying about what he can do to help me. I hate it. I hate not helping. I hate hearing the sounds of my family going on around me and not being able to take part. I hate seeing him get more and more stressed, and there’s nothing I can do to help. More than being sick, I hate not being one of THOSE wives, who is an excellent partner to her husband in this career we call life. And, I’m sure you can guess his response, “You just worry about getting yourself better.”

So I have one of THOSE husbands. One of those excellent, superhuman, generous, fabulous husbands you rarely actually hear about. I have one of those. And I thank God every day that I do.