Parenting in Progress

Okay, America, I guess it's time I get this out there: I parent my children. My husband and I both do, and we're damn good at it. But, I would like to point out--ignoring is an important part of parenting.

You know those little dream kids, the ones who are sweet, and shy, and just go with the flow all the time? Yeah, none of those children live in our house. Our kids are loud, and fiesty, and stubborn, and exuberant. In their defense, Eric and I are not sweet, shy, go-with-the-flow kind of people, either. We are loud, and fiesty, and stubborn, and exuberant. You will often find us dancing in the kitchen, or yelling at characters on the TV, or chasing either other through the house (he blows on my neck--it really tickles!). And so, those darling Precious Moments children we dreamed about... Yeah, no.

So, we parent them. We lecture. We take things away. We get in faces. We use stern voices. We use words like consequences and choices and getting on my very last nerve. However, we also ignore, when appropriate. We stay out of it, if we feel the kids are working through something on their own, or will end up with a natural consequence (keep swinging your Ninja Turtle around by its leg, eventually that sucker's gonna bust).

This week, we were trying to stay sane while cooped up in the house with these zany creatures. One of us had the brilliant idea to travel and shop--use up the gift cards people had gotten the kids, get a change of scenery, maybe have a meal outside the house. Sounded innocent. But, as I was telling my friend, we just don't have the kind of kids who can travel, or stay up late, or change their scenery. Our kids need their routine of school, dinner, bath, books, prayers, bed. When we vary the schedule, all hell breaks loose. So, as I was saying, we left the house. We took the kids to their first ever trip to Toys R' Us (Ben's mind is irreparably blown), where surprisingly few fits were had. But, dinner, that was another story.

Part of the problem with dinner, was that it was occurring during bath time. In a place that wasn't our house. With on-lookers. And a new Hulk toy.

So, Minimus (Becca's new horse from Sofia the First) thumped Hulk, and Hulk head-butted Ben. Much to the chagrin of the other five people eating in this place, Ben threw a massive, high pitched, owl-summoning fit. Now, I would like to point out that we were not in a Ruth Chris Steakhouse or anything. We were at a Mancino's (loved the pizza!). And, also, did I mention there were FIVE other people eating there? As in: a mid-aged husband and wife, a father and pre-teen son, and a single man. But, oh, geez, it was like we were interrupting a wedding. So, ignoring was NOT going to be the method of parenting we were going to be able to utilize.

Eric tried talking quietly near Ben. I scooted over and tried to cuddle him. Unh-unh. Not havin' it. So, I grabbed the perpetrator--and the stupid Hulk--each under an armpit and hauled them outside. Eventually, we got cold enough that Ben's brain froze, and we were able to shove what was left of his food down his throat. It was a beautiful family moment, and I appreciate the Mancino's patrons' support in our time of need. Jackasses.

Here's the thing. Sometimes, it's just gonna look like I'm ignoring the kid. But, if I'm at the front of one of those "should have a CDL to drive" carts with the two parts, holding the two-year-old in my arms, pulling the groceries and the four-year-old is strapped in the back, screaming his fool head off, something about "I waaaaaannnnnnt my guuuuuummmmmiiiiiiiieeeeees!", just LOOK AWAY. I don't need your help. I don't need your condescending looks. If you want to walk up and give me a high five for great parenting (notice that I am NOT giving him the gummies, or giving into the attention seeking behavior), that's great. Otherwise, just go about your business.

Okay, soapbox done.